Insecurities

I’ve recently been told that I’m a very insecure person and that I constantly seek the reassurance of others. Honestly, I’ve been stewing about this comment for a few days now and I’m feeling less than thrilled about how I apparently project myself.

When you’re carrying around some extra pounds, OF COURSE you’re insecure. That’s no mystery. You constantly feel like you’re not good enough for your friends, your relationships, and your family… its just the way it goes. I can’t hide my insecurity (its right out there for everyone to see). For example, if you’re insecure about your crazy family or your job, you can hide it pretty well. But when you’re insecure about your body, well, that’s a bit harder. Yes, I can dress well, do my hair, and put on make-up, etc. but at the end on the day my fat ass is out there for the whole world to see. And I guess because I’m so insecure about my body, I seek approval from others so I don’t feel like such a failure.

As for seeking approval – I’m still a little unsure how I do this. Am I making comments that are annoying to friends and family? Do I involuntarily put people down? Do I talk myself up? It’s driving me crazy! Because I’m on this weight loss journey, I’m finding out a lot about myself: What I can physically do, how much I can take, my willpower limits. However, I’m still struggling with how I can stop involuntarily seeking approval from others. I’m hoping for some kind of epiphany or at the very least some obvious sign of when I do it. That way I can stop, think about it, regroup and never do it again.